


Full Holes, Empty Souls

by WhiteNoiseVinyls (potslooshi)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Ass Eatery, Bad Jokes, M/M, Mentions of Christian related humor, lots of swearing, not blasphemous though idek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:55:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26341507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potslooshi/pseuds/WhiteNoiseVinyls
Summary: Wait, he could hear Mark saying something, softly mumbling words underneath his breath. Was Mark Lee chanting shit to his fucking asshole? He propped himself up on his elbows again to look up at Mark who looked like he was having a fucking blast- talking to Donghyuck’s. Fucking. Asshole.“Care to share with the rest of the class?”“Saying grace, of course. I am about to eat your ass after all.” Mark looked like he was seconds away from bursting out into laughter.“Saying grace…” Donghyuck repeated faintly. “Is- is this a regular occurrence?”“Not really. You just seemed like you’d be into that stuff.” He grinned up from between Donghyuck’s legs. “Good Christian boys are your thing, aren’t they?” Mark Lee aka Satan’s Sidekick was saying.Alternatively, Canada Lee is back and everything is pretty much the same except for two things- he's now called Mark, and Donghyuck really wants to get into his pants.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 33
Kudos: 199





	Full Holes, Empty Souls

**Author's Note:**

> Hi,  
> Before you start, I'd like to point out that there is quite a lot of well, Christian themed humor and foul language in general- that might be offensive to some people. (Its not blasphemous, because I don't wanna doom myself just yet :) So, if at any point you're uncomfortable, do feel free to click out. That being said, welcome lol. Welcome to my attempt to write a fic with questionable humor which I then post for the world to see.  
> This is unbeta'd- all the mistakes are mine, and mine alone.  
> Happy Reading :)

_The Road to Hell is Meaty and well Beaten_

Easter Holidays

In retrospect, Donghyuck should’ve known that things would go to shit on a Sunday. Sundays were the days of ritualistic cleansing; where he’d find himself stuffed up in the musty confessional at their local church (after twenty rounds of his mother incessant nagging), muttering vaguely concerning sins he’d made up on the spot.

‘’Forgive me Father, for I have sinned… I’ve been charging my premium PornHub membership to Doyoung’s account (messy breakup, son of a bitch would probably deserve it) … I had a threesome with Renjun and Jeno (he hadn’t- apparently laughing in the general direction of Jeno’s nether regions had withered their boners, so they’d kicked him out) … I slept with the new TA from the chem department (that one was true, Jungwoo had fucked him behind the hideous remake of David in the art gallery, taken him out for shrimp alla vodka, where they decided never to do it again).’’

Whether it was the old priest with his aggrieved Presbycusis and his 50 penitential Hail Mary’s, or it was simply that Donghyuck was finding it harder to get creative with his weekly sins- Sundays were the bane of his existence; a persisting pain in the ass (and not the good kind, Donghyuck would know).

💛

Jeno and Jaemin were waiting for him under the sycamore in the church compound. Jaemin was wearing a string of fat brown beads on his neck, looped around twice to match with the ones decorating both his wrists. If you asked him about it, Jaemin would launch into a mildly disconcerting rant about ‘’flexible faith’’ or whatever the fuck he was observing this week. The lesser you asked, the higher the chances that you would walk away with sanity intact.

“Good morning Oh Holy One” Donghyuck called to Jaemin as he drew closer to the pair, bowing in mock reverence.

Jaemin flipped him off, thrusting the finger back and forth for emphasis. Donghyuck mimed vomiting before flopping down next to Jeno.

“What’s with the face?” he asked. Jeno was surveying the largest group standing across the courtyard with mild interest. Donghyuck could pick out a few of Jeno’s neighbors among them.

“You remember Lee Minhyung? From across the street?” Donghyuck didn’t.

Jaemin was peering at the group as well. “The altar boy? Headed the Bible study group during the summers?” he asked quizzically.

That’s when it hit Donghyuck. “Canada Lee is back?”

“Yep.” Jeno nodded, dragging his eyes back to Donghyuck’s for a second. “Only he isn’t Minhyung anymore. It’s Mark now. Mark.” He pronounced the name with a thick American accent, clucking his tongue twice like Donghyuck’s divorced aunt showing disapproval.

“Mark. Mark.” Jaemin chirped, making it sound like ‘Mak-eu’

Donghyuck snorted. “It’s not going to last. He’ll be back to normal in a week tops.” It was true. They’d seen it with Youngho hyung and the time he’d come back from some big budget photography thing in Chicago- with bleached blonde hair and a breadass white boy name- _‘I’m Johnny’_ , he’d said. No one, not even Taeyong hyung (who had been dating him since the middle school acne era), had conceded to call him that. Within a week, the blonde hair was back to black and ‘I’m Johnny’ was back to being Youngho hyung, albeit with extreme denial when someone dared to bring it up. What shat in Vegas, shits in Vegas or whatever.

“What sleeps in Vegas, wakes in Vegas.” Jaemin corrected when Donghyuck voiced his thoughts out loud.

“Of course, you’ll wake up in Vegas if you slept there you fucking moron.”

“It’s Vegas, that’s the whole point!”

“Enough enough.” Jeno stood up, fixing his crisp white collar. “Let’s get the fuck inside before you two bring the priest’s house outside with this ruckus.”

“The Lee Jeno swears.” Jaemin clutches his chest and pretends to swoon.

“Blasphemous.” Donghyuck mutters, as they walk inside.

💛

Donghyuck flopped on the pew, sliding low in hopes that his mother couldn’t see him and drag him to the front where sleeping in front of the Eucharist would give him a free hall pass into hell. Jaemin was craning his neck to catch a good view of the altar, which was a first, because he hadn’t been this engrossed by it since Kim Mina had been on altar service.

“Damn Canada Lee got hot.”

Donghyuck sat up straight like a rod. “Where?”

“The choir, dumbass.”

Lee Minhyung was sitting at the head of the Choral Section, in a blue dress shirt and slacks (black rosary tucked under his collar like it was fresh from Jesus’ go-to spring/summer collection), guitar perched on his thighs, listening to whatever Zhong Chenle, resident devil spawn affixed with the nicest voice box god had seen fit for humankind, was saying. 

“He’s hot.” Jaemin was saying. “I mean, he still looks a Nun conjured him up on Good Friday, but in a way that makes me want to get my dick wet, ya know?”

Jeno howled, causing everyone above 50 in their vicinity to turn and look at their pew- Donghyuck’s mother included. She narrowed her eyes and gestured at Donghyuck.

“Thanks for that, assholes.” He hissed, standing up to join his parents in the front. Idiots didn’t know when to shut up.

“Enjoy the view of Canada Lee’s Thighs’’.

Donghyuck smiled sweetly at his best friends, surreptitiously pulling out his middle fingers and pointing it at them. He could still hear Jeno guffawing as he made his way to the front, smiling wide eyed and apologetically to the aggrieved elderly.

His mother’s frequented pew was right up the nose of the Choral Section and Donghyuck sat down, only to find Lee Minhyung staring at him. Chenle was still speaking, now with elaborate hand gestures, but Minhyung looked like he’d stop following that conversation a while back.

Donghyuck sat up just the tiniest bit straighter, caught Canada Lee’s eyes, and smirked. Honestly, if every boy Donghyuck smiled at had reacted this way, his ego would have been halfway to the moon by now. Lee Minhyung turned red, the color creeping up his starched collar. He turned away, fingers fidgeting with the frets on his guitar. Interesting.

Donghyuck stayed wide awake for this service, than he had in all of his churchgoing existence, much to his chagrin. Jaemin was right. Canada Lee’s thighs were fucking gorgeous. He’d pushed up his sleeves to play the guitar, while he crooned whatever hymn was leading the service into the mic. He also seemed to be strictly avoiding the general direction of Donghyuck’s pew after catching Donghyuck’s shameless staring a handful of times- but that, they could work on. Donghyuck usually wasn’t one to have a type- but Lee Minhyung or Mark or whatever he called himself, with his geeky side part, stiff clothes and thick thighs fit right into Donghyuck’s type. “Good Christian boys who’re seemingly straight?” A voice that sounded suspiciously like Jaemin echoed in his head. Donghyuck choses to ignore it.

The next Sunday, Donghyuck squeezes into his tightest slacks, the top two buttons of his dress shirt open, while he pretends not to notice his mother throwing him the dirtiest side eyes throughout their drive to church. Jaemin feels his ass up and makes him promise to tell him about Canada Lee’s dick game, if he even had one.

If Donghyuck spends the entire mass playing with his collar and watching Mark’s eyes flit past the exposed skin, fingers tightening on the neck of his guitar, then that was between him and God.

💛

The 127 Fahrenheit was run by one Mister Byun Baekhyun, who’d given Donghyuck his job at the restobar when an opening had come up at the counter. Baekhyun hyung was one of those people who were filthy rich, but no one had any clue of how he’d come upon such wealth. Donghyuck manned the counters in the evenings and it would’ve been a great job if Jaehyun would finally stop sucking the face of some stuck up law school student, who used to turn up every day like clockwork to get his face sucked.

It was a relatively slow evening, Jaehyun’s chill rap playlist drowning out most of the conversations around him. Sometime after 6, Youngho hyung had come in with Taeyong hyung, their usual table now filled to the brim with Youngho friends from college. Donghyuck retreated back into his gaming hole, solo sing along session to Post Malone in full swing. It’s only when he hears someone tap lightly against the counter that he looks up.

“Hi?”

Lee Minhyung stood in front of him in a beanie and oversized hoodie, wire rimmed glasses perched on his nose looking like he tutored middle schoolers in his free time. And God, was that stubble? Donghyuck traced along his sharp jaw, where a noticeable 5 o’clock shadow had grown. Wouldn’t Donghyuck like to feel that up.

He straightened behind the counter and plastered his tried and true come-hither smile.

“Hi, how can I help you today?” Godammit he should’ve taken the order while bent over the counter.

Lee Minhyung surveyed the arrangement behind Donghyuck, nose scrunching up in concentration. Cute.

“A beer would be nice-“he checked his wallet “Budweiser. For now.”

Donghyuck raised a brow. “Planning to get shitfaced now, are we…” he trailed off, as he typed the order in.

“Mark. Mark Lee.” (It had been three weeks, why had the white boy name stuck?) Mark Lee rubbed his neck and chuckled nervously. “I’m probably on delivery duty today so can’t afford to get drunk.” He gestured to where Youngho hyung’s group sat, half the table looking well on the way to tipsy land.”

Donghyuck jutted out his lower lip and watched Mark follow the subtle movement.

“It’s a Friday night, Mark _hyung_ , I’m sure they can all find their way back home in one piece.”

The ‘hyung’ seemed to do something- Donghyuck could spy the tell-tale hints of red creeping up Mark’s hoodie.

“I seriously doubt that but let’s see.”

Donghyuck turned to the counters to grab a bottle, hoping to the highest heavens that his apron was knotted nicely above his ass. “I’m Lee Donghyuck by the way, hyung” he said over his shoulder “Just in case there’s a change in plans.” He winked.

Mark Lee seemed to choke on nothing. “I’ll keep that in mind then, Lee Donghyuck.”

💛

Mark Lee only came up to the counter when it was well past 9pm, hair mussed, and beanie long gone.

“Hi.” He sat down on a stool that someone had left behind.

“Hello again, hyung. I’m guessing there was a change of plans?” Donghyuck grinned.

“Um yea… thought I’d have something after all.” He looked at the shakers lining the counter. “Whatever’s easiest for you to make, I suppose?”

“One Mikey’s Breakfast Banger, then?” Donghyuck cocked his eyebrows.

Mark spluttered. “Something a little more… conventional, please.”

“You sure? I’ll even customize it to Marky’s Bedtime Banger, all things considered.”

Mark laughed, not his usual nervous chuckling- a full blown Adam’s apple bobbing laugh.

“Tempting. Just a whiskey one will do.”

Donghyuck leaned across the counter. “Boring. The cute girls aren’t digging this parental ambience anymore.’’

“Do the cute boys dig it?” Oh. Oh. Na Jaemin was so fucking wrong. Canada Lee was seemingly, not so straight.

“Anyone specific in mind?”

Mark looked up from the counter and groaned. “Not today, Satan. Maybe someday when you learn to reply with answers rather than more questions.”

Closing time rolled over and Donghyuck sat down on the curb waiting for Jaehyun to lock up. Youngho hyung’s group were still there, crowding around his Jeep. Mark Lee was there too, faced flushed, leaning into Taeyong hyung’s space.

“Stop staring you fucking creep.”

Donghyuck jumped a mile into the air, a string of curses flying out of his mouth while Jaehyun doubled over in laughter. The people near the Jeep were staring.

“Son of a bitch, I’ll tell Baekhyun hyung that I found jizz behind the coolers last Wednesday.”

Jaehyun faked a gasp, tears forming at the corners of his eyes. “I’d say you were lying. Now come on before I decide I’ve had enough of you today.”

Donghyuck hooked his arms around Jaehyun’s as they walked towards the parking closer to the group around the Jeep, most of who had gone back to their conversation.

“Mark Hyung?” He called. Every head turned. Mark’s eyes widened.

“They dig it, yea? The cute boys.”

Mark Lee burned, looking like he wanted the ground to swallow him whole, as someone whooped. “Good to know.”

Jaehyun snorted got into his car. “Canada Lee and his archangel guarded balls. You have no self-respect.”

Donghyuck chooses to ignore that too.

💛

That Sunday, Donghyuck seated himself in the first pew an hour before mass (in the pretense of hearing the choir practice- his mother had looked at him like he’d sprouted horns), legs spread just wide apart to be sacrilegious, fingers tantalizingly close to his crotch, eyes fixed on Mark Lee’s face that was getting redder and redder in a way that was making Donghyuck somewhat worried. Zhong Chenle looked like he’d walked in on his parents fucking. Idiot. Donghyuck was being perfectly respectable.

If Donghyuck’s fingers snag on the zipper of his slacks, causing Mark to finally stumble on a chord- then that was between Mark Lee and God. Donghyuck refuses to take any blame for it.

💛

It was almost ritualistic at this point. Mark Lee would come into 127 F with his friends at the end of the week, kept Donghyuck company while he made questionable drinks for Mark to try (if it was Sand in the Cracks this week, then it was a Surfer on Acid the next), and then proceeded to take his shit faced friends home by closing time. It was all very sweet and nice and oh so fucking slow. Donghyuck had the worst case of blue balls in history and unsurprisingly, the award-winning combination of his hands and his conjured fantasies of Mark Lee dicking him down wasn’t working anymore. Tonight, Donghyuck was going to go home with God’s favorite child or die trying in the process.

Mark was alternating between glaring at the glass of ‘Marky’s Bedtime Banger’ and glaring at Donghyuck. Donghyuck rolled his eyes and leaned over the counter.

“Relax, its orange juice and club soda. You should be grateful; I even strained the pulp out.”

“You could’ve put something in here and I’d be flat on my back in a second.” Mark grinned over the rim of the glass before sniffing it like some sort of seasoned retriever.

Tempting. But Donghyuck had things to do and things to get done- all of which involved a sober Mark Lee. He grabbed the glass from Mark and slurped some of the orange drink, smacking his lips for full effect. Mark looked a little dazed. Maybe it was just the lights and Donghyuck had finally lost his mind.

“Delicious. You’re missing out.”

“Yea, I’m sure I am.” Mark was still staring at him. Score one for Donghyuck.

Mark sipped at the drink, leaning back in his stool looking like he was in no hurry to leave. Donghyuck could spot his entourage throwing him devilish looks from their table. This was new.

“No babysitting duties today?” Donghyuck asked, in between his half assed counter wiping duties.

“No. Youngho hyung’s got that covered.” Mark turned to look at the tables behind then- a dude with silver hair tied up into a ponytail shot him a thumbs up.

“Uh- so you uh- close up on your own?”

Donghyuck wasn’t sure where this was going. “Well, not really. I just stand guard while Jaehyun locks up. He’s you know-“he leaned in conspiratorially, “kind of a wimp, so.”

Mark barked out a nervous laugh. “Right, so he doesn’t really need you here.” He looked back at the tables, stylish ponytail dude was looking right back in their direction along with at least half of their table. “When can you leave?”

“My shift ends in two minutes, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Alright alright. Can I uh- take you to dinner?”

“It’s past 9:30 on a Saturday night, Mark Lee. Places shut in about half an hour.” Donghyuck rolled his eyes, untying his apron his apron. “You have approximately one minute and thirty seconds to decide whether you want to take me home or not.”

“Right, right- instant ramen at my place then?”

God what was with this boy and his determination to make Donghyuck eat? He closed up the cash till and walked out to grab Mark’s hand.

“Fine. As long as I can sit on your dick later.”

Mark choked out a ‘Yea, that can be arranged’ and dissolved into a coughing fit, while Donghyuck patted his back trying his best not to laugh.

💛

“You’ve got to be quiet, yea?”

Donghyuck is pushed up against the fridge, Mark Lee’s hands on his ass, a leg wedged in between Donghyuck’s thighs.

“Yea, yea I can be quite.” Somewhere along the way, Mark seemed to have lost a few buttons off his shirt, and Donghyuck is trying his best not to appear like a total horny fucking savage.

“Really?” Mark laughed against his mouth “I don’t really have a sample of reference for that.”

Donghyuck wiggled his ass in Mark’s grip “I’ve a multitude of references for various unrelated things, I’ll have you know.” His mouth fell open as Mark gripped his ass cheeks, spreading them apart.

“Good to know that fucking you will be quite the experience.”

Donghyuck detached himself from where he was sucking a large bruise the size of Greenland under Mark’s collarbone. “Fucking? From good Christian boy Mark Lee? Easing the sausage might be far more fitting or-”

Mark snorted reattaching their mouths together, nibbling on Donghyuck’s lower lip. “Good Christian boy eh? No, shut up shut up-” he muttered as Donghyuck opened his mouth again, “I don’t need to know.”

Donghyuck is sure he could’ve appreciated Mark’s room in other circumstances, that didn’t involve him propped up on his elbows, sans a shrivel of clothing or shame, watching Mark step out of his pants. Fucking finally. Mark came to stand in between Donghyuck’s legs, pushing his thighs apart- attention affixed on Donghyuck exposed body.

“God, you’re gorgeous.” Donghyuck preened. Mark dropped to his knees between Donghyuck’s legs, hand gently thumbing his hips. “Fuck, Hyuck, can I eat you out?”

Donghyuck spread his legs wider, vaguely aware that Mark was looking at his ass like it was the Second Coming. “Yea fuck yes please.” He threw his head back onto the pillow, dick already half hard in anticipation. The last time he had his ass eaten was by this overeager junior from college, who’d slobbered all over Donghyuck’s asshole before he’d kicked him out. Donghyuck shook his head. Not the time to relive his lackluster sexcapades. He felt Mark’s breathe closer to his hole, a cool finger prodding the rim gently. Donghyuck groaned impatiently. “Get on with it.”

Mark blew on his rim, licking it just once prompting a shudder to wreck through Donghyuck, then-nothing. Wait, he could hear Mark saying something, softly mumbling words underneath his breath. Was Mark Lee chanting shit to his fucking asshole? He propped himself up on his elbows again to look up at Mark Lee who looked like he was having a fucking blast- talking to Donghyuck’s fucking asshole.

“Care to share with the rest of the class?”

“Saying grace, of course. I am about to eat your ass after all.” Mark looked like he was seconds away from bursting out into laughter.

“Saying grace…” Donghyuck repeated faintly. “Is- is this a regular occurrence?”

“Not really. You just seemed like you’d be into that stuff.” He grinned up from between Donghyuck’s legs. “Good Christian boys are your thing, aren’t they?” Mark Lee aka Satan’s Sidekick was saying.

Donghyuck kicked out at Mark’s chest only to have Mark wrap his hand around his ankle, eyes gleaming as he bends down once more- this time to finally, finally eat Donghyuck out. And god, Slobbering Sungwoo could take a lesson or two from Mark fucking Lee, altar boy extraordinaire.

Thinking back on the night, maybe Donghyuck could’ve handled himself with just a little more grace. He lost his head completely when Mark had pulled at his chin, levelling his gaze to the unwrapped condom in Donghyuck’s hand, and asked to put it on him with his mouth.

“Use your mouth, Hyuckie. Can you do that for me?” Donghyuck didn’t know how he’d kept himself from coming right then and there. How he’d ended up on all fours, his incoherent babbling muffled by Mark’s hand over his mouth as Mark rams into him over and over again, he does not know. Somewhere along the line, he comes, blissfully wondering if Mark would do this every other day if he asked nicely.

Donghyuck does ask, after Mark’s tied off the condom and chucked it into the bin. He returned and wiped a saliva smeared hand on Donghyuck’s front, grinning like a maniac.

“Get off me, get off me you gross shit.” Donghyuck grabbed Mark’s shirt from the floor and tried to wipe off the cum and saliva and God knows what else from his body.

“Gross shit?” Mark raises an eyebrow. “That’s not what you were saying five minutes ago.” He pinched Donghyuck’s nipple, making him yelp, but kissed him softer than Donghyuck thought was possible.

“Yea I didn’t expect you to go all Hannibal Lecter on my ass, you know.”

“I don’t know who that is, but I’m sure he’s wonderful.” He pulled Donghyuck towards himself.

“Great. Canada Lee is a fucking idiot.” Donghyuck curled up to Mark, muttering into his neck.

“Goodnight, Lee Donghyuck.”

“You can’t just end a conversation like that Mark Lee.” He said like Jeno first had, thick American accent and all.

“Donghyuck?

“Yea?”

“Goodnight.”

“Nighty night then asshole.”

💛

**Author's Note:**

> My first Markhyuck fic!! This fic was born as a result of a few conversations with v supportive, v encouraging friends about good christian boy Mark Lee saying grace before he eats Hyuck's ass. I'd initially debated writing something longer for my first time- but err this is what we ended up with.  
> Gonna post this and run the fuck away because its a new fandom and I'm scared shitless but Mahae has pulled me in to stay, I suppose. 
> 
> [Twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/potslooshi)


End file.
